Introspection is hard. I’ve found so many faults with myself, I’ve pretty much completely lost my self-esteem. More importantly, my introspection has hardly been productive. I find faults, blame myself, mark out areas of improvement and change, and then I give up.
On the other hand, finding faults with the world outside rather than the world within — it comes naturally! Hardly a day passes by without me thinking “the world is such a fucked-up place”, there’s a thought continuously running at the back of my mind screaming “life sucks. and here’s why:” proceeding with an unending list.
I’ve long since shied away from putting these on blog because I cared about what I thought my ‘image’ was. I didn’t want to come across as cynical, someone with a negative outlook, a fault-finder and not a fault-fixer. You know what, I don’t care anymore. Criticizing others is a low hanging fruit, brings hardly any pain (unlike introspection), and gives me a high by creating an illusion of being on a moral high ground.
Yes, a cynic — I am. A ‘glass-half-empty person’ — I am. An action-less ranter, full of negativity — I am. Here, I’m going to list all the blog posts that are around this theme.
- The grade hypocrisy: because I’m sick of people fighting tooth-and-nail for grades and then saying ‘grades don’t matter’.