Oath of Bharatputras

Satire, ridicule and exaggeration alert! Those who don't understand these terms are advised to not read any further...
India is my country and what a "country" country it is. I wish USA were my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters; but only those from my caste who speak my mother-tongue are prospective life partners. I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I will not let go of any opportunity of excessive glorification of Sanskrit and the Vedas. I shall always strive to be worthy of it, whenever I get free time from cribbing about how no one is striving to be worthy of it. I shall give my parents, teachers and all elders respect and treat everyone with courtesy as long as they provide me with enough pocket-money and don't meddle with my affairs, give me full attendance without attending lectures and don't wear "provocative" clothing. To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion. (conditions apply) In their well-being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness. Yeah, right!

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