Branches, loops, and jumps

Here begins my experiment: just type away as my thoughts ramble and wander… letting them take me to places and times — here and yonder! I’m typing out… in the end, I’ll have to do some minimal editing and little bit of censoring here and there and boom! I have a blog post!

So yeah, this is an attempt to pen it down as my thoughts branch out and new topics emerge. I’ve always found it very hard to be on the top of a particular topic for long and the ‘very hard’ part invariably makes me think of [deleted] from where my mind travels to places like Agra. I think of Taj Mahal and how acid rain is ruining its beauty. These goddamn Agra people! So much pollution! I know, right! And why does pollution make me think of population? Is it just word similarity or is there a deeper meaning to it, I wonder.

Yeah! Wonder Woman! Supposed to be some famous comic book character or something. Nah! Never heard of her. I know Captain America, Batman, Flash, Superman, Spiderman and all that, okay! But Wonder Woman? I’m just barely aware of her existence in the comic-verse. Yeah, yeah, the universe portrayed in comic books, not like “a verse that is funny” but yeah, why not? Verses can be funny too! And you know what? There was this guy in my school, his name was Phani (pronounced exactly same as ‘funny’). Boy, was that funny! Okay, okay, I know I shouldn’t be making fun of people’s names and all that, but hey, this is what’s coming to my mind right now.

I just ramble on like that, you know! All the time! I seem to have a very strong and very weird associative memory… words that rhyme, words that look similar, same words across various language, puns and all that kind of stuff… you get what I mean, right? A friend of mine put it this way “see, there are many kinds of people: I’m a ‘visual’ kind of guy, I see patterns, relate to them, think visually. You’re a ‘verbal’ kind of guy.” Well, frankly, I don’t remember what he said next. “Verbal kind of guy” really caught my imagination. Remember Verbal from The Usual Suspects? Yeah! That Verbal! And of course, Kobayashi! Man! Wasn’t that movie just awesome!

Thinking of movies, it just occurred to me that I recently read Brave New World. In it, those guys have something called ‘feelies’. I take an issue with Huxley on this. What does he mean by ‘feelies’? Like movies move you, feelies feel you [up]? Ugh. Or, like movies make you move [it], feelies make you feel? Ugh!! Let me tell you, movies are movies because they move. Now don’t tell me feelies feel! Doesn’t make any sense at all! But hey, he’s the goddamn author! You know who else is an author? Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! Somehow every time I hear author, I also think of Arthur and not just this Arthur, but that red-head muggle-lover son-of-a-witch too! Oh boy! Harry Potter! [sighs nostalgically] Just like wikipedia, where everything eventually would take you to Philosophy, every thought train of mine features Harry Potter somewhere or other.

And yeah, Wikipedia makes me think of my friend whom they affectionately call Vicky at his home. Not me though. I, many times, call him Vic. And as you would’ve guessed, that makes me think of this guy from my school, an alumnus long long ago, Vic Gundotra… Google plus, what a failure! Catastrophic failure!

But then again, isn’t my life a big failure too? From a certain viewpoint at least… [deleted] [Ah! My own censorship! I too hate censoring out stuff, you know…, sorry for the seeming discontinuity] which makes me think of Carnatic music and I’m like “Music! That’s such a nice word, isn’t it? You are feeling sick, and you listen to this thing, various sounds and stuff… and your sickness suddenly shrinks down to microscopic levels — you are now just μ-sick!”

I wonder why ‘sick’ and ‘tired’ go hand in hand… and why tire has multiple meanings… look at it — does a car get tired after traveling a long distance? Or is it always ‘tired’? Is a train much more ‘tired’ than a car? And a boat never ‘tired’? Boats… In Marathi, boat means finger. Not the verb, the noun. Hehe! That makes me think of ladies finger, which, for some funny reason is not what they prefer to call it here in the US. “Ocra” it seems! Pronounce it a bit differently and it is not very difficult to make it sound like ‘okke ra!’ which means ‘only one, man!’ in Telugu. That makes me think of solitude and of the Bengali song ‘ekla chalo re’. And boy oh boy! Don’t I just love Bengali! In my mind, Bengali and Telugu keep on fighting neck-and-neck for the ‘sweetest language ever’ spot. Neck-and-neck reminds me of mouth-to-mouth and I’m like “ugh! I would never want to be a life-guard! Unless, of course, obviously the pool is an exclusively-female pool ;)”

Oh my pathetic mind! I was talking about pool and now I’m thinking of pools of blood. Damn you Game of Thrones! By the way, GRR Martin and JRR Tolkien — those two names rhyme and match so well, don’t they! I just find it fascinating! Oh yeah, in Marathi and Hindi, faasi means the noose by which you hang people to death. I wonder whether faasi-netting would mean hanging people to death using a fishing net or something?

Enough of these destructive thoughts, I tell my mind. Oho! Destructors, constructors… makes me think of Object Oriented Programming. You know the thing about garbage collection? Nobody wants to do it! And I really pity those poor people… living in slums… living a sub-human life… their only job being collecting garbage which ostentatious and insensitive bastards like us don’t even think twice before throwing!

I feel all this is pointless… Everyone trying to solve first-world problems… Make more people click on ads! Make more people aware of things that they ‘want to’ buy! Make billion dollar companies so that sexting is easy! Sure, why not say ‘yo!’, because, you know, that’s the most important thing in the world! Shit! This is getting serious, and I’m not even branching out. I should stop.

[Post edit: Boy! That was the fastest post till now. In half an hour, I’ve written a blog post! So what if it’s pretty much crappy? :P]

[P.S. I just realized that, in the title of my blog, all the three nouns are also verbs. Reminded me of the ‘eats shoots and leaves’ panda joke]

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